Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviour on the part of the abuser designed to control their partner. It can happen at any point in a relationship, including after you have split up.
Anyone forced to change their behaviour because they are frightened of their partner or ex-partner’s
reaction is experiencing abuse.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, background, gender, religion, sexuality or
ethnicity. However, statistics show most domestic abuse is carried out by men and experienced by women.
Domestic abuse is never the fault of the person who is experiencing it. Domestic abuse is a crime.
Spotting the signs:
• Is your partner jealous and possessive?
• Is he charming one minute and abusive the next?
• Does he tell you what to wear, where to go, who to see?• Does he constantly put you down?
• Does he play mind games and make you doubt your judgment?•
Does he control your money, or make sure you are dependent on him for everyday things?
Does he pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to?
Are you starting to walk on eggshells to avoid making him angry?
Does he control your access to medicine, devices or care that you need?
Does he monitor or track your movements or messages?
• Does he use anger and intimidation to frighten and control you?
Learning about the Cycle of Abuse can be important for those struggling in an abusive relationship. Often, people are shocked at how closely the cycle mirrors their own experience. The Cycle of Abuse resource portrays the common patterns followed by many abusive relationships, beginning with building tension, an abusive incident, the honeymoon phase, and then a calm. It is especially good at helping those to see their own experiences in a new light, and help them relate to others who have been in similar relationships.